Vampire Hookers (1978)

This review comes complete with a warning beforehand. The review for Vampire Hookers, from director Cirio H. Santiago (T.N.T. Jackson, The Muthers), is going to make it sound like one hell of an awesome film, but you’ll have to keep in mind that this flick was viewed at a revival theater with a room full of psychos calling out obscenities and random sound effects, making the experience a blast. For the truest score for the film, focus on the star rating.

Rating:

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Barbarian Queen (1985)

Swords and Sandals flicks can be extremely entertaining. Hell, Conan the Barbarian proved that way back in ’82. Yet, the ones that fail, fail hard. Barbarian Queen proves that. In a film with as much violence and nudity as Barbarian Queen gives the audience, the last thing on viewers’ minds is that they’ll be bored, but, that’s exactly what this reviewer dealt with (fighting to stay awake).

Rating:

Since the review’s epically short, here’s the final battle in it’s entirety.

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