Cut (2001)

We’ve all made mistakes. My mistake for the day was watching Cut. Yes, I know. It’s a slasher flick, so of course it probably won’t be good, but the problem was this one almost worked, which made it all the more infuriating. It played on the idea of a slasher movie being haunted by someone that doesn’t want the film being made. The problem with that is…we’ve all seen it before (and, by we. I mean horror fans that tend to watch whatever’s being thrown our way).

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Midnight Meat Train (2008)

 

Midnight Meat Train is horror/thriller film based on the short story of the same name, written by Clive Barker. The film stars Bradley Cooper as Leon, a photographer who is trying to break into the art photography scene. Leon’s girlfriend, Maya, is played by Leslie Bibb and their mutual friend Jurgas is played by Roger Bart. While the antagonist, only named Mahogany, is played by Vinne Jones. This was an enjoyable film filled with violence, gore, an MMA superstar, and a big old bloody mallet.  Sounds like fun right?

 

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Valentine (2001)

 

This film is directed by Jamie Banks, and hit theaters in 2001.  This slasher is centered around a young man getting revenge on a group of friends that had slighted him at a school dance in 1988.  Little Jeremy Melton asked four of the friends to dance, and he was rejected harshly.  He asked a fifth girl to dance and she accepted, then they proceeded to make out underneath the bleachers.  When the “cool” kids catch them, the girl totally denies it, and they begin to ridcule and beat Jeremy.

Fastforward to the year 2001, and all the friends are grown up:  Shelley (Katherine Heigl), Kate (Marley Shelton), Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw), Ruthie (Hedy Buress), and Paige (Denise Richards).  Around Valentines day, they all start to get deranged Valentine cards and gifts, threatening their lives.  When the freinds start getting mysteriously killed by a masked assailant.  The clues all point to Jeremy.  With the help of Det. Leon Vaughn (Fulvio Cecere) and Kate’s boy friend Adam (David Boreanaz), the girls try to find Jeremy before all of them are dead.

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Hospital Massacre (1982)

With a film entitled Hospital Massacre, AKA X-Ray, you pretty much know what you’re getting when you throw it on. Take a wild guess what this one’s about and I bet you’re right. Some gore, nudity and a plot that makes absolutely no sense is what anyone that wanders into this flick is going to get.

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My Bloody Valentine (2009)

My Bloody Valentine 3D is remake of the slasher horror film from 1981. This time around things are even more gore filled and literally eye-popping with the use of the 3D technique. It all starts out in the small town of Harmony where an accident in a coalmine, caused by Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), made a killer of Harry Warden. Old Harry went into a coma and a year later on Valentine’s Day wakes up and brings on a blood bath through the town. Dressed in his mine gas mask he goes out killing whoever gets in his way.

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Pieces (1982)

As a kid that grew up on slasher films you start to notice that they’re all pretty much the same thing with a different hook. Boobs, gore, weapon of choice, etc. Well, that said, some slashers still have a place in my heart as films that I can watch over and over. Whether they are put together well, and actually have some effort put into them or terribly made yet are released for some ungodly reason, slashers have always been a sub-genre that I will check out whenever a new one comes out. Pieces falls into the latter category. It’s poorly written, horribly acted and so full of plotholes that Michael Bay looks like an Oscar-worthy director. However, it’s one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. I love it.

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Black Christmas (1974)

Some films just stand the test of time better then others. Black Christmas is one of those films. Made in 1974, this film still has one of the most terrifying series of phone calls I’ve ever heard, and really set the standard for pushing tension to the limit. From the opening credits Black Christmas grabs you by the balls, and doesn’t let go until the screen goes black.

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The House on Sorority Row (1983)

I tried watching House on Sorority Row once before and turned it off about halfway through. I was so pissed. It’s a slasher, so give me what I’m looking for. Well, The New Beverly Cinema had an all night horror marathon and this was the second film shown that night. Not wanting to miss any films in the show, I decided to stick it out, and boy, was I glad I did. Yes, the beginning is a bit slow, where they try to set up an actual story, but when the acting is this bad you should stick to the simpler things, like blood and boobs. And, they did just that. Right after the film passed the point where I had stopped it earlier the action picked up and the cheesy 80s slasher goodness began to flow.

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Midnight Movie (2008)

There’s something to be said for modern slashers. That would be, most are uber generic and usually base their entire premise around finding the best way to off characters as the masked killer slices and dices through a troop of sexually-fiending teens and creepy old men. Now, I know that’s not extremely different from the slashers of the 80s, but there’s a completely different feel these days. It’s almost as if the filmmakers just want to make a film and the easiest way to do that is to put together a poorly structured story, using unlikable characters and then have them killed in gruesome ways. Now, that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the point of this rant, and that would be, Midnight Movie. This is one of the few slashers I’ve ever seen that actually kept my attention the whole time, and was actually pretty damned entertaining.

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Bay of Blood (1971)

What if I told you that once upon a time slasher films weren’t generic and some even had a point to their story? You’d probably call me a liar and smack me upside the head with a brick. But, I swear it was true. Some might say these early slasher films are giallos, but at their heart the still have that body-count that we all know and love. Bay of Blood is considered the Godfather of slasher films, and I would partially agree with that, as it was one of the first modern slasher flicks, but it also has a solid story running beneath the surface of greed and double-crossing.

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All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

It’s been quite a long time since a quality slasher film has come down the horror pipeline. There have indeed been a few of note, but there really haven’t been any that captured the spirit of the genres 80’s heyday. Slasher fans can finally rejoice however, as right from the awesome opening title card, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane captures the elusive feel of the 80’s slasher film and recreates it pretty damn impressively.

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