Island of the Fishmen (1979)
Ah, so my patience finally paid off, and after waiting through several date shifts for Mya Communications to release Island of the Fishmen, it has arrived from Netflix. The box cover lead me to believe I’d be watching a cheesy Italian knock off of the already cheesy Humanoids from the Deep. What I got instead was an incredibly slow fucking film with a random mish mash of voodoo, monsters, a pissed off evil dude, and a heroic doctor just trying to survive. Too bad the story wasn’t good enough to pull this off and it dragged along with a few smatterings of death thrown in for good measure.
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Big Bad Wolf (2006)
When was the last time you had fun watching a straight werewolf flick? The last time I had fun was Dog Soldiers. It was a little cheesy, but entertaining from start to finish. Well, I just finished Big Bad Wolf, and, while it is nowhere near the caliber of film that Dog Soldiers is, it sure as hell entertained me from start to finish with cheesy dialogue, a decent looking villain, generic story, and gore and boobs. What else could you possibly expect from yet another low-budget entry into the werewolf sub-genre? I can’t say I was hoping for much, and what I got was at least enough to make me not feel like I wasted an hour and a half of my life.
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The Big Gundown (1966)
October 30, 2009 by Mikey B
Filed under Featured, Review, Spaghetti Western
Ready to hear some really deep thinking? Sure you are. The Big Gundown, aka La resa dei conti, was written and directed by a guy named Sergio. Therefore it’s good. Why do I say that? Well, Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and Once Upon a Time in the West were directed by Sergio Leone. Django, The Great Silence and Companeros were directed by Sergio Corbucci (totally giving this guy a pass on The Hellbenders, which sucked). So, by that logic The Big Gundown, directed by Sergio Sollima should kick ass (especially with the soundtrack being put together by one of the greatest composers ever, Ennio Morricone). That would be correct. The Big Gundown fits easily into my top 10 spaghetti westerns and it’s one hell of a fun ride.
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Hardware (1990)
As someone who absolutely hated writer/director, Richard Stanley’s Dust Devil, my expectations going into Hardware were extremely tempered. Well, for awhile, Hardware was definitely the better of the two movies, in my opinion, but still far from a great film, and I was expecting a bit more entertainment from a film sporting a killer robot. That said, the acting is rather well done (although I found myself getting pissed at the characters for making stupid decisions, but I’ll save that anger for the script – they made do with what they had).
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The Commune (2009)
The Commune comes across as an interesting mix between The Wicker Man (not the crappy remake) and Chinatown. Though I may not have been the biggest fan of The Wicker Man I could respect its gripping story and very twisted ideals. That said, Elisabeth Fies – writer/director/producer/actress/production designer –for The Commune threw a cog in the wheel and played with the ideas Noah Cross brought forth in the classic noir, Chinatown. What does any of this mean? Well, while The Commune may be a slow burn of a film, the payoff is more twisted than many mainstream horror fans will be ready for (and, almost without any blood at all – how about them apples?).
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7 Mummies (2006)
So, I just finished a little flick called 7 Mummies. I don’t know what I was thinking seeing as the box cover couldn’t look more like direct to video trash and one of the stars is Cerina Vincent (thanks for taking it off in Cabin Fever, but we don’t think you can act, so get naked more). Well, I may not have known where my head was at when I started this thing, but I know where it’s at now, and it’s a bad place.
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Tsumugi (2004)
Tsumugi, aka Sora Aoi is Tsumugi, aka Seifuku bisyojo sensei atashi wo daite has a story somewhere inside it. I swear it’s there…somewhere. What I do know is that for the duration of the film the audience is treated to almost non-stop sexual encounters between a student, a teacher, another student, and another teacher in a twisted love…quadrangle. The audience is also treated to fantastic cinematography and a pretty twisted ending, if you ask me.
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Wyvern (2009)
According to Wikipedia, a wyvern is ‘a legendary winged reptilian creature with two legs often found in mediaeval heraldry.’ So, how could a film about a giant monster killing people not be good? Well, by pulling a SyFy channel special approach (complete with shitty CGI monster) and mashing together bits of The Fog and The Mist (more on this later). Wyvren also should be given credit for the most convenient and out of place monologue I’ve seen in a long time. What you get when you pop this bad boy in is nothing short of a late night cheesefest that would go down great with a few drinks.
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Being Jason (2009)
There’s something to be said for a film that not only shows body parts sliced off and decapitations, but also features Jason Voorhees as a church group reject and an introvert who receives guidance from Leatherface. Even though Being Jason is only a short film, in it’s running time of about eight minutes, you’ll get to see your favorite slasher icon (at least he’s mine) as you’ve never seen him before. Writer/Director, Mike Doyle, not only does an excellent job putting together this goofy spoof on Jason, but it comes across as if he and his cast had a blast making it.
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Door Into Silence (1991)
September 19, 2009 by Mikey B
Filed under Featured, Psychological, Review
If you want to see a perfectly entertaining premise completely wasted, I can’t recommend any film more than Lucio Fulci’s Door Into Silence. With a kick ass name and an actual legit actor (John Savage of The Deer Hunter), one would think they’re about to witness Fulci’s masterpiece, but sadly, that’s not what the audience gets. It’s too bad that someone with as many films under his belt as Fulci (56 directorial credits on IMDB), had to go out with this as one of his last films. That said, let’s take a gander at the story and tear this puppy a new one.
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Nightmare Castle (1965)
Why is it that since Gothic horror is so rarely done anymore, that the things that made it work so well are gone as well? Ominous ambiance, atmosphere, tension; where did those important parts of horror vanish to? Somewhere along the line, not only did horror filmmakers give up on good story, but they also started getting extremely lazy with the look of modern horror films. What does this have to do with Nightmare Castle? Well, this film fits in with modern horror in dialogue and a pretty simplistic story, but the cinematography is simply jaw dropping. Almost the entire film takes place in a massive castle and each and every scene looks fantastic. And, hardly a side note, but casting Barbara Steele in another (double) role is always a good thing.
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The Sinful Dwarf (1973)
September 17, 2009 by Mikey B
Filed under Exploitation, Featured, Review
When you pop in a DVD entitled The Sinful Dwarf you pretty much have given up any hope of a legitimate movie and hope to hell that it’s just balls out entertaining, which this was–almost. The plot is ludicrous, the acting is atrocious, the girls are naked, and there are even song and dance routines. What’s not to love? Well, like any exploitation (or in this case, dwarfsploitation) flick, the film has its share of problems, and it helps that some of those problems are so ridiculous that they are part of the reason people like me watch trash like this.
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Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America (2007)
When I pop in a film about Vikings, I expect to be lost in a land of hardships, battle, destruction, etc. When I popped in Severed Ways I got a boring 109 minute sequence of random shots, a story that couldn’t have actually been more then twenty pages long, and poor excuses to drop some death metal into this cinematic brain fart. Are there worse films out there? Oh, I’m sure there are, but Severed Ways makes Rob Zombie’s Halloween look like an Oscar-caliber flick, and that’s saying something considering I think Halloween (2007) is one of the worst horror films I’ve seen of late. Yes, Severed Ways has Vikings (2 of them) and yes, there’s a few scenes of action (maybe 4 minutes out of it’s ridiculously bloated running time), but over 100 minutes of random shots of woods, guys sitting around and cutting down trees, a film does not make.
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Big Man Japan (2007)
So, I tend to watch a lot of strange films (anyone that knows me can attest to this), so I’m always up for anything that’s not mainstream, or that just comes off as odd. That said, watching Big Man Japan was quite an experience. It goes from a documentary to a giant monster movie in the vein of Godzilla and then switches gears, and somewhere along the line becomes a parody of Power Rangers (or at least I hope that’s what it was). Big Man Japan is quite a ride, but I can see how many people might not dig it.
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Dismal (2009)
So, lately the horror world has been inundated with torture/slasher style hybrids (by lately, I mean the last decade and by the styles I mean those damned French flicks that seem to be getting so many high ranks). I could go on a rant, but I’m here to review Dismal. Now, most fans of the genre have checked out the, very solid, flick Wrong Turn (and, some have even ventured into the cheestastic sequel). Why do I bring up Wrong Turn? Well, Dismal plays to many of the same ideas (minus the seemingly invincible mutants) and does it pretty well. I’m not going to say that Dismal is a perfect horror film, because it’s not. What it is, is a fun way to kill some time and not feel like you want to stab a child because it sucked so bad (too many of those to list).
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Attention LA People: Screening of Seventh Moon this Sunday!
Anyone in the LA area, be sure to check this out. There will be a one time only screening of Eduardo Sanchez’s newest film ‘Seventh Moon’. For those of you that don’t know, Eduardo was a co-director of ‘The Blair Witch’ and also brought us ‘Altered’. Read on for the details and if you’re in town make sure to check it out.
Fortissimo Films snag rights to ‘Shock Labyrinth’
With Takashi Shimizu at the helm I’m not to worried that “The Shock Labyrinth” will turn out to be a pretty freaky ride. Read on for a little bit about the film and when we can expect it.
Thirst (2009)
As a huge Chan-wook Park fan, I made damn sure to check out his newest film Bakjwi, AKA Thirst. It’s been promoted for a while now, as a vampire film from the director of Oldboy. Die-hard Chan-wook Park fans salivated over the opportunity to see a great director tackle a classic, yet oversaturated, sub-genre in the horror film market. What Chan-wook Park, and co-writer Seo-Gyeong Jeong have done with Émile Zola’s novel Thérèse Raquin is inject an icon of terror into an incredibly twisted tale of tragic romance. Chan-wook Park directs this tale with all the power and imagery his fans have come to expect.
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Trailer for Avatar
Beyond the break you’ll find the trailer for James Cameron’s long awaited Avatar.
The Cry (2007)
I just finished watching, what I can only describe as a cinematic turd. Yes, I try to find something good in just about every film I watch, but it was nearly impossible for me to get through all 80 minutes of The Cry without wishing I could kick a child (which is exactly what the antagonist would want since she’s all about the butchery of kids and making their mothers suffer). Based on the Mexican legend of “La Llorona”, The Cry is a pathetically weak attempt at mixing a thriller with a supernatural twist.
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Downey Jr. Taking up Lestat?
Looks like our favorite playboy from Iron Man and Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder has taken up a new mantle…vampires. That’s right kids, Robert Downey Jr. is in talks to pick up where Tom Cruise and Stuart Townsend left off, as the main character of Anne Rice’s vampire chronicles, Lestat. Read on for more.
Eden Log (2007)
Lately, I’ve found myself checking out films that had a lot of hype behind them prior to an official DVD/theatrical release. The latest one that fell into my lap was Eden Log. This one had some pretty strong online hype, but, like many of the others, I was completely let down. A decent premise and good-looking locations with some nifty camerawork is not enough to make up for a dull story and a poorly-paced film.
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Scream 4 Rumors Swirl
Is it possible that Courtney Cox is returning to the hit horror series…as a mommy? Read on for the details.
Another Riddick Flick…oh Hell Yeah!
Looks like we may be getting another film based on the character of Riddick (Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick), and it will probably feature Vin Diesel. Read on for part of Bloody-Disgusting’s interview with David Twohy, and some more info on his other upcoming film.
Batman 3 on the way?
According to actor, Gary Oldman, that’s how it is. From his vantage at Comic Con he let slip that they’ll be gin shooting in 2010. So, where’s Nolam in all of this? Who’s the bad guy? Will WB rush this one out to capitalize on the successful last two films? Read on.
That looks like one of the dumbest movies of all time!! That trailer puts it in at... - 
I must admit I’m not to sure about this casting bit, Downey seems... - 
Wow. I’m digging it. Fucking love PA movies - 