Island of the Fishmen (1979)

Ah, so my patience finally paid off, and after waiting through several date shifts for Mya Communications to release Island of the Fishmen, it has arrived from Netflix. The box cover lead me to believe I’d be watching a cheesy Italian knock off of the already cheesy Humanoids from the Deep. What I got instead was an incredibly slow fucking film with a random mish mash of voodoo, monsters, a pissed off evil dude, and a heroic doctor just trying to survive. Too bad the story wasn’t good enough to pull this off and it dragged along with a few smatterings of death thrown in for good measure.

Rating:

We’re treated to a rather drawn out opening as a single lifeboat has escaped from a sinking prison vessel, and several criminals, as well as the ship’s doctor, are huddled on the floating boat, hoping to not starve to death. Things go from bad to worse when a fog rolls in and some strangely familiar humanoids (check the box cover for what they look like) rear up and cause the boat to capsize. The next morning the few survivors try to gather their wits and stay alive. They’re picked off one by one (whether by monster or by booby trap) until only three remain. Those three meet a mysterious man and a beautiful woman that lives with him on the deserted island. Oh, did I mention he’s got a bunch of native workers (the voodoo people), who are pretty much badass bodyguards? Well, they’re everywhere and make life very difficult for the men. Soon enough, we’re down to one man (take a guess – alright, I’ll tell you, it’s the good doctor). Island of the Fishmen swerves off into Island of Dr. Moreau territory, and really cranks up the cheesy towards the end.

Honestly, I don’t know what I was hoping for, but this surely wasn’t it. After watching several of director, Sergio Martino’s other forays into film, I was hoping for something as intense (or, at least as entertaining) as his earlier gialli. Maybe that was just foolishness on my part. I mean, how entertaining could a movie about gilled monsters kicking all sorts of ass be? Oh, wait. That’s right. A lot. Well, somehow the ‘fun’ part of making a cheesy movie got thrown out the window and they tried to play Island of the Fishmen straight. This only leads to long stretches of drag and really leaves the cool parts too few and far between.

The Fishmen themselves are pretty cool (in a 50’s uber-B-movie sort of way). They’re not scary. They’re not even very creepy. But, I do have to say; they are hilarious to look at. They almost look like left over props from Humanoids from the Deep, and it’s as if Martino decided to out Corman, Roger Corman (read, take it to the next level of cheesy). Underwater they moved with the grace of a fish that’s had its fins removed. I say my biggest problem isn’t that they sucked, it’s that they didn’t appear in the film enough. That’s right, if you’re going to promise me monsters, deliver. Don’t make me wait twenty minutes at a time to bust them out.

The cinematography is nothing special, although there were a few shots that were really pretty magnificent and it felt like he switched out his cinematographer for those scenes (I can’t go into specifics, because I can’t remember exactly where, but I’m pretty sure they were wide shots of the landscape on the island). On the flipside, some of the locations were stunning. One in particular was a massive cavern located under the volcano (at least that’s where I figured it was based on what I was shown in the film). It was magnificent to look at and was very fitting for the story. There’s also nothing quite like intercutting between stock footage and actual footage. Explosions of a volcano (that clearly is nowhere on the island) intercut with an intense battle between the Fishmen and the mad man and his gang of natives is supposed to add an increased tension, but instead brings on the laughs. Lots of laughs. Oh, and the models are hilarious. Occasionally you can see the camera’s shadow linger over whatever it may be looking at (in the case of the lost city close-up, the shadow almost engulfs the entire mini-set).

The gore in Island of the Fishmen is a lot less then I’d hoped for, but then again the film isn’t what I’d hoped for either. For what the story is, the gore quotient is fine. But, if you’re one of the many (like me) that will surely be sucked in to checking this out based on the insanity-filled box cover, be prepared for a minimal level of the red stuff. There’s a lot of shooting and stabbing, and occasionally one of the Fishmen lands a blow that leaves claw marks on its victim, but that’s about it.

Overall, Island of the Fishmen is not one of Sergio Martino’s crowning achievements, but if you’re a Martino completionist I will say you could do a whole lot worse. Is it just me or does the final escape sequence (getting on the boat) remind you of the Goonies? That question was for anyone that’s seen this flick.