Dismal (2009)

So, lately the horror world has been inundated with torture/slasher style hybrids (by lately, I mean the last decade and by the styles I mean those damned French flicks that seem to be getting so many high ranks). I could go on a rant, but I’m here to review Dismal. Now, most fans of the genre have checked out the, very solid, flick Wrong Turn (and, some have even ventured into the cheestastic sequel). Why do I bring up Wrong Turn? Well, Dismal plays to many of the same ideas (minus the seemingly invincible mutants) and does it pretty well. I’m not going to say that Dismal is a perfect horror film, because it’s not. What it is, is a fun way to kill some time and not feel like you want to stab a child because it sucked so bad (too many of those to list).

Rating:

Dana (Lydia Chandler) is not very good at biology. Her fear of dissecting animals in lab may cost her a good grade. In comes Curt (Tim Morris) as a kindly teacher’s assistant, who takes more then a passing liking in the young girl. Too bad for him, she’s got a boyfriend, who’s a massive douche bag (you know, the type you just want to watch die in a horrible fashion). Well, she bails on him to go on a camping trip, headed up by Curt, with several other students from the class (read: the fodder – the generic black guy, slut – I had no idea prostitutes went to college, guess I didn’t go to a good college- and two young people in the wrong place at the wrong time). Within half an hour, our unlikely group is off on a weekend adventure, but danger lurks as they soon find that something is out there, and their numbers dwindle as they get picked off one at a time.

Dismal borders on being a good slasher (not that that’s saying very much) so much that I’m almost tempted to just leave it at that and call it a day. The problem is, the film feels like three different movies in one, with each act playing out as a different genre. The first act would be the “drama” act where the characters are set up and the ‘tension’ between Curt and his interest in Dana becomes apparent. His lovey-dovey attitude exudes as he waits for her to arrive before they take off on the adventure. The second act would be the “slasher” act where a few characters are picked off one at a time, by some strange brute of a man with a giant…man, I don’t even know what to call that thing (it looks like a pick used in the mines but on crack). The third act would be the ‘torture’ act. I won’t call it torture porn because at no time does any nudity take place, but the cat-and-mouse games set up in Saw and Hostel definitely come through in spades. Because Dismal feels so disjointed as a single genre film, I really can’t label it a slasher and call it a day. I also can’t give it a higher score, because instead of excelling at one genre, it merely passes in three of them.

The acting in Dismal is about what you’d expect. The actors are passing. They’re not great. They’re not bad. They’re there. They do what’s needed and that’s pretty much it. That is, except two that I’d like to point out. The first would be Lydia Chandler as Dana. The story revolves around her, and she’s expected to carry the film. During the times when she’s not freaking out, she doesn’t do that bad of a job. She’s not amazing, but I can’t really complain. Once she starts freaking out, though, I really wanted to ring her neck. I get that she’s supposed to be scared out of her mind, but it’s a film. Have her stop screaming for a few minutes. Really. It just ruined any tension that was built up in that scene, because all I heard was this girl, who was supposed to be scared out of her mind, but instead she sounded like she was getting off for ten minutes (that’s how long it felt, I’m sure it was about two). Yet, on the flipside is Bill Oberst Jr., playing the psychotic Dale. Wow. This guy is someone to keep your eyes on. He single-handedly kept my attention on the film. He’s creepy as hell, but he’s also very believable and definitely captures the insanity of his character. Watching him torture his victims with words, instead of weapons, was much more unnerving then any of the death sequences.

Speaking of death sequences, Dismal has its share. The death scenes are bloody and gore hounds will probably get a kick out of them. A major problem I had with them was the lack of practical effects. Note: If you can’t do something, it’s probably not very realistic anyway and you should figure out a different way to kill someone (meat hook death, I’m looking at you). And, CGI ruins death scenes 9 out of 10 kills (if you have a shotgun, and you shoot someone with it, use a squib. CGI blood looks crappy). But, Dismal did remember to have fun with its deaths, and one stands out above the others. I won’t ruin it here, but I will say that I’ve never seen bear traps used quite that way before.

Overall, Dismal is a great time passer, especially if you’re having some buddies over for drinks. I wouldn’t go out of my way to see it, but if you happen upon it, check it out. Interesting deaths, quick nudity and by the numbers horror could have fans leaning either way. This one held firmly in the middle.