With films there are surprises, and then there are surprises. With some films you get exactly what you think you’re going to get. In fact, after watching a trailer or two, one can usually gauge how much they’ll like a film pretty closely. Every once and a while, the gauging system fails and you either get a dud or a surprisingly decent film. With 976-Evil I got the latter. Who would have thought a film directed by Robert Englund would be good. I mean, come on, the guy’s only known as Freddy Krueger anyway. Well, he did an excellent job, and I’d like to say that he should stick to work behind the camera. He does a good job capturing what was a pretty solid story and makes it work; probably better than it should have.

The story is pretty simple. A mystery hotline number, 976-EVIL (hence the title), gives the caller their “Horrorscope” but eventually turns it around on the caller, causing them to do more harm than good. This basically plays out as a possessed hotline, where instead of finding out that you’ll eventually ‘make it big if you keep applying yourself’ and your ‘lucky number is 22′, you get an evil voice telling you what you want to hear to get you to do things it wants. Sounds familiar? Yup, that’s because the premise is amazingly similar to the modern classic (if you ignore that it’s a phone call and replace it with the black unmarked VHS), The Ring (Ringu is the original, for all you snobs, and yes I love them both dearly). When you make this call, you’ve pretty much signed your soul over to the dark side and you’re going to end up dead. Instead of a VHS, this film treats the audience to a hotline that should come across as cheesy (and for all common sense it is just that) but it ends up working within the confines of the script. The audience follows two cousins as they try to make their way through high school. Spike (Patrick O’Bryan) is a badass that plays with kids from the wrong side of the tracks and he’s just trying to get through his days and not be bothered while Hoax (Stephen Geoffreys) is his smaller, wimpier cousin, who of course needs Spike to stand up for him.

What works so well for 976 is the story is so well thought out, that it surpasses many of the other low-budget horror films of the time. Through some interesting directing, we learn to really care about both Spike and Hoax. I don’t know what Robert was eating/drinking at the time, but he got some great angels, lighting and excellent acting for such a low budget film. Hell, when they’re on screen you can’t help but watch as they interact. One scene in particular had me cracking up as Spike (in a very Kurt Russell sort of way) is trying to land a date with a moderately hot blonde chick. He’s trying to land the date as Hoax pulls up on his moped, and starts talking to the couple as if he hadn’t interrupted anything. He tries to impress Spike with his new “muffler” that he fixed up in shop class to sound like Spike’s motorcycle. This is funny enough, but Spike takes off on his bike and Hoax tries to catch up, but ends up running head first into a fence. I knew it was coming. I’ve seen it done a million times, but it just goes to prove that when someone has characters that you care about, you just can’t help but enjoy the ride, and enjoy it I did.

As the story progresses, Spike is torn between his bad boy image and being the kind-hearted, misunderstood guy. It makes for some self-inflective moments including a scene where he’s told by the “Horrorscope” to steal what he wants, and he almost does. This scene, of course, allows us to see how unforgiving the 976 number really is, and it’s pretty cool to see what happens next.

Now, I can’t go on without mentioning Hoax’s overprotective ‘mama’, Aunt Lucy (Sandy Dennis). For anyone that’s seen Carrie you know about the religious zealot mother character, and Dennis pulls it off almost as well, but more for laughs than anything.Plastic on the couches, more than 5 cats and a whole lot of holy attitude make her character so full of ridiculousness it’s almost painful to think about.

Of course, what’s a good horror movie without the horror? 976 moves along at a pretty brisk pace (yes, I’ve read other reviews that are claiming the complete opposite of me, but I have to ask what they thought they were getting into when they watched this). By the halfway point, the forces of darkness are pretty much realized and Hoax just isn’t himself anymore. Something has a hold of him, and it’s causing a rampage of epic proportions for the entire town. Soon the audience is treated to broken windows lodged in the skull, death by tarantula, cut off hands, hearts ripped out of their bodies, and some incredibly satisfying ‘implied’ shots that no one seems to be able to pull off anymore. For the implied shot, just check out the bathroom scene towards the end of the film. Really effective.

I’m not saying the film is perfect. It’s not. It suffers from its own share of B-movie errors and some horrible acting from the supporting cast. Certain scenes dragged out way longer than they should have, and the ending felt a bit rushed; almost as if they ran out of time/money. What I am saying is that Robert Englund did a good job capturing a cheesy 80s B-film the way it should be; a solid story that wasn’t laid to rest just so that guts and boobs could flash across the screen. Make sure you call 976-EVIL today for information that will help you through those tough times ahead. Remember, “Once you’ve been to hell, everything else pales in comparison!”