Rating:

The Ghost Galleon is the third film in the Blind Dead series written and directed by Amando de Ossorio, and is different from the first two films in just about every way except the Blind Dead’s importance and some beautiful cinematography. Where Tombs of the Blind Dead was an exercise in tension and Return of the Evil Dead is a terrifying thrill ride, The Ghost Galleon could best be described as the blooper real of the series. Even though it’s no where as well done as the first two it still has its place in this epic collection of films, and if you enjoyed Tombs and Return you owe it to yourself to watch Galleon.

Noemi (Bárbara Rey) is having a rough day. She’s missing her roommate Kathy (played by the beautiful Blanca Estrada), who’s been missing for a month (shady that she waited this long, no?), and she’s out to get some answers. She goes after Lillian (Maria Perchy) who many know more than she’s letting on. After some arguing, Noemi convinces Lillian to tell her the info about her roommate, but not unless she goes to a shady little warehouse. Here she finds out her roommate was out on a small boat with another woman, testing a new survival lifeboat for a company that doesn’t want to follow the rules. Out in the water the women were set upon by the Ghost Galleon, a massive ancient ship that creates its own fog. The two disappeared after climbing aboard the ship. Now Noemi and Lillian are joined by Howard (Jack Taylor), Sergio (Manuel de Blas) and Professor Grüber.

At this point in my reviews I usually dig into the good stuff in the films. Well, for The Ghost Galleon, I’m going to start with the problems. And, there’s plenty. The story felt like it was forced just so Ossorio could get people on to the Galleon to become victims for the Blind Dead. That’s not saying that Ossorio doesn’t create an interesting idea with the Ghost Galleon being the basis for this film, as opposed to, say, the abbey in the first film. But, that leaves a lot to be desired. A reason is given when Jack meets up with the Professor, but it just felt tacked on, unlike in the first two films where the audience is treated to how the Blind Dead became the Blind Dead. For the first half of the film the story seemed to be stretched ridiculously thin. It actually felt like four or five scenes dragged out for way too long; similar to the pathetic sequel, The Matrix Reloaded.

Another problem I had was the poor character design. Now, I know it’s basically a zombie film on a boat, but Ossorio spoiled me plenty with Tombs and Return. These characters were boring as hell, and given even worse motivations for what they’re trying to achieve. The only character I really ended up liking was Noemi’s roommate Kathy, but that was just because she was so ridiculously hot compared to the rest of the cast. And, this is no shock since she’s one of the first ones on the Ghost Galleon (the hot ones always seem to die first), she’s one of the first to die, and she was the only character that I actually liked having on the screen.

Now, with all of these problems, how could I possibly recommend this film? Well, because, it’s so damned funny. The horrible acting and script mix in such a way that the overall stupidity of what the audience is watching becomes so much more palatable. There is no nudity in The Ghost Galleon, and don’t get me started on how stupid the gore is. In fact, there was only one scene of actual gore that I can really remember over the course of the film. Most of the kills happened off screen, and it actually works well for The Ghost Galleon. If the audience has any sense of humor, they’ll find themselves laughing their ass off all the way to the best part of the film.

When the film races into the final lap the shots change to the outside of the ship. If you pay attention, you’ll see why the shots were so quick. It’s clearly a poorly-made model in a pool. One may not notice this right away, but if you were to stop and think about it, the calm swells of water would be massive, which doesn’t make much sense in reality. The best way to catch this mess up is towards the end of the film when the ship is on fire. In a few quick shots the fire is clearly way too large, and it shows just how fake and small the model was.

Of course, the camerawork is excellent, as in the other two films. Many of the shots on the deck of the Ghost Galleon are beautiful and haunting. A creepy blue light filters through the tattered and torn sails as the ship glides silently through the water. The Blind Dead rise from the hold below, easing out from under a large board. Scenes like this are the reasons why fans of the series come back again and again. Ossorio is a master of mood and atmosphere. A scene involving the Blind Dead and a beach exceptionally shows this. The sequence is rather simple. The Blind Dead slowly rise from the ocean as they approach a beach. As they break the surface of the surf, water empties out from their skulls, splashing down their scared skin and rolling down their ancient clothing. It’s mesmerizing and terrifying at the same time.

The Ghost Galleon, while not at the same level as Tombs of the Blind Dead nor Return of the Evil Dead, has its place in the series and entertains as such. It’s a film that falls into the “so-bad-it’s-good” camp, and does not disappoint on a ridiculous level.