I’ve been putting it off, but I finally watched Blacula, and I have to say…not bad.  It’s not the greatest vampire movie of all time, far from it, but it was very entertaining.  Somehow I feel that most classics should be remade in the vein (pun) of exploitation.  Something about the way lines are delivered (and what lines are said!) and funk music makes everything move at a better pace.  Blacula feels like a anti-racism Dracula.  And, it’s fascinating.  I never thought I’d see Dracula in a night club!

Rating:

The film starts off with Prince Mamuwalde in his castle in the 1700’s.  Here he is trying to stop the slave trade as the white empirialist (or something like that) are making a killing off the backs of black men, but things just don’t go his way.  He learns all too late that the man he is trying to make a deal with is none other than Dracula (and boy does he love using black people).  He is bitten and sealed in a coffin, cursed to spend eternity in search of blood to feed on.

Fast forward to the present, well 70’s, but you get it.  We start off with a gay couple, who are clearly gay ‘cuz they know all about nice looking things and they talk with heavy lisps.  They buy a house that was owned by Blacula, and accidently unleash Blacula from his coffin.  This is the beginning of a rampage through the city as Blacula comes to terms with the new world he’s been reborn into.

Blacula goes on the lam, after finding out that the reincarnation of his ex-wife is walking around, clear as day.  He chases after her, loses her and gets nailed by a cab.  The cab driver becomes the first of many victims still to come.  

***SPOILERS***

We get to see him seduce the ex-wife, turn others into vampire thralls, Blacula bitch-slap a cop, and him get revenge on the lady that took his picture in the club.  I thought it was great how every time he went into “Vampire mode” patches of hair would show up randomly on his face.  Made him look like a monkey or something.  That growl is great too.

The two gay guys both make appearances as vampires.  The white one gets his ass beat in two seconds flat by the main cop, but the black one makes his rounds around town, with his cool-ass afro in tow.  This one leads the police on a manhunt into a warehouse where we find a victim torn apart and the guy’s face is now painted green to signify he’s vampire.  Oh, and he’s made about 20 other vampires (he was busy).  Hint, hint: bullets do nothing, copper!

This is followed by some awesome, cheap napalm and some kung fu action that would make Sonny Chiba cringe.  I felt a little ripped off by the bat change scene.  Couldn’t they have done a little more with that?  Just a little more?  Jeez.

As it to be expected, Blacula is about to lose his girl, so of course he has to turn her, after a little police chase through a warehouse.  He rants and screams about something (I couldn’t make it out, they had the echo too high), and the next thing is Blacula going on the hunt to avenge his love.  He doesn’t kill so much by neck biting, but by bitch-slapping.  I guess there’s only one way to kill the haters.  This leads to the climax that epitomizes the film perfectly.  

***END SPOILERS***

Check this out if you’re a fan of blaxploitation and vampire films in general, but if you’re not a fan of either…hell, why are you even reading this?