So, I’m a huge fan of slashers. Or, let’s say, I WAS a huge fan of slashers. As a lot of kids I know, I grew up on these generic gore-flicks. Jason will forever be my home-state hero (Happy Friday the 13th, I’ll be watching part 4 or 6 later)! Michael is great and good ole’ Billy from Black Christmas will always be my favorite. Hell, The Prowler is my all-time favorite slasher. But, whenever I hear about a slasher and it gets hyped up, nowadays, I’m almost always let down (see the French for this…). My Bloody Valentine has been mentioned over and over and I kept hearing huge variations of its quality. I also heard that it’s one of the best slashers ever made. So, my curiosity finally to the breaking point, I popped MBV into the XBOX and hit play…

Rating:

The story is a basic slasher staple. An accident happened because certain people weren’t doing their jobs. A survivor of the accident gets revenge. Flash forward 10 or (20 in the case) years and have a bunch of young, hot teens ignore the warnings to not do something. Bring in the slasher. Enjoy boobs and gore until a final girl is left. This film stuck to the skeleton pretty well, but what I enjoyed was that it actually was so sure of itself that it didn’t feel the need to go overboard with the gore (most of that happens off screen) and there was zero nudity (not that I’m saying I don’t like nudity, hell, read my review of Burial Ground). It added a sense that you actually had to pay attention, and that wasn’t very hard to do.

Pacing, acting (even though some were horrible), cinematography, and directing all ranged from passing to good (which is HUGE for a slasher film). As soon as we’re brought to present day things pretty much kick into high gear.

***SPOILERS***

There’s a reason that the deaths work even though they’re not shown. Because, they’re so mean-spirited you can’t help but wish it wasn’t happening to that person. In fact, most of the people that die in the film you really wish wouldn’t have. They’re not the usual bunch of assholes that you would help the killer kill. One death in particular, involving a shower head, was not shown, but the shot where the dead body is discovered is enough to fill in what happened. Holy crap! Also, let us not forget about the drying machine scene. High-five!

Let’s talk about the killer for a moment. Now, of course, his motives are kind of weak, but no slasher ever had really good motives for doing what he did (screw you Rob Zombie!). But, ZOMG, that outfit is badass. I would crap my pants if a guy wearing that mining outfit was chasing me with a pick axe. They did a great job of keeping him hidden and by using the light on his helmet he was able to blind victims and the camera, alike. The pick axe allowed for some great kills, and was a resourceful tool as it was used to drag his victims into the shadows as he lay in wait for the next batch.

Another cool thing the killer does is leave notes for the sheriff, warning him not to have the Valentine’s Day party, and then letting him know he failed, epically. I will never look at a box of chocolates the same way again.

Now, I’m not saying this film is perfect. Far from it. The lead guy, is probably the beta-version for emo kids everywhere. He’d whine about the girl he lost, and start sh*t instead of moving on, because he couldn’t make it on the west coast. Some of the dialogue made me want to cringe. The music didn’t fit very well. And, what’s with the scene where the sheriff flips a bitch and starts driving back to town? A random dog just runs out and almost face plants into the truck.

***END SPOILERS***

Overall, I’d recommend this film to any fan of slasher films. If you’re one of those new-age slasher kids that needs tons of gore and boobs then move along, but if you’re into old-school slasher films, check this out if you haven’t already. Hell, it’s being remade. Just like every other movie I love.