Not by me, of course, but by Mr. Disgusting over at Bloody-Disgusting. He seemed to have a good time while there and the article is written like he had an erection the entire time, but it did give me a little bit of hope that they may actually be able to produce a decent, updated slasher film using Jason Voorhees. For those of you who may not be aware, they are returning to Crystal Lake with a remake of Friday the 13th and kind of merging the first three films, using key aspects of each film. Jason’s origin story, the hockey mask, etc. Read on, for my thoughts about the film and a bit of Jessica Biel’s tits.

I’m gonna be honest. While I am a horror fan, I am not a fan of any particular horror character. Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, etc. I just like some of the films they each happen to be in. So when word came that they were rebooting the Friday the 13th series, and starting over, I really didn’t give a shit. Of course, Jason fanboys could be heard across the horror forums wailing and ripping their clothes in anguish, but seriously I didn’t really care one way or the other.

But the fact that they plan on going full-bore with the sex, drugs and rock-and-roll to go with the extreme violence puts a slight smile on my face, I am still wary. After all, this director, Marcus Nispel, also directed the Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot. While it looked good, the movie sucked a lot of ass…even with Jessica Biel’s tits all over it.

The only three things worth watching in 2003’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Nispel will be directing from a script written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, the pair who wrote the screenplay for Freddy versus Jason. To round all of this up, it will be produced by Michael Bay via his Platinum Dunes production company. So, even with an article where you can almost hear an angel’s choir when Derek Mears, the actor playing Jason, describes revealing his Jason make-up for the first time, my expectations are still really, REALLY low. Friday the 13th should be in theaters Valentines Day weekend, 2009.